Principal Points - "It's Not Fair"

Past Principal Points
It’s Not Fair!

How often have we heard our children say, "It’s not fair!" How often have we said it ourselves! There are times that we should have that response, but by far it is usually the response from our carnal nature and not the Spirit of God. I am convinced that if parents can train their children to understand the underlying principles, they will have moved their children a huge step forward into maturity.

First, I believe that God has designed into all mankind a fundamental appreciation of and desire for justice. When we cry out, "That’s not fair" we are objecting to some injustice, whether real or imagined. Since we know that God is a just God, and He has called us to act with justice, we feel vindicated when we "stand up for ourselves."

And, as I said, there is a time to do that, but the time to do it is not when we ourselves are being mistreated. The Bible never teaches us to stand up for ourselves. It teaches us to stand up for others. As Christians we are to defend the poor, the widow, the orphan, and the unborn. We are to administer justice with mercy. We are to proclaim the truth and admonish others to live by it. Those who do not are to be warned and even punished.

On the other hand, when it comes to sticking up for ourselves, the Bible teaches just the opposite. Peter says clearly, "For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God." (1Pet. 2:19 & 20) We think our children have demonstrated great maturity when, after being punished for something they did wrong, they accept it with grace. The Bible says, that accepting punishment for doing wrong is no big deal. It’s how you handle punishment when you didn’t do wrong that really shows your character. Can we accept injustice (to ourselves) with grace? That’s the real test of Christian character.

How does this apply in a school setting? Well, on the one hand, it means that teachers and administrators must make every effort to be fair and administer justice. On the other hand, it means that when a teacher makes a bad call, students (and parents) don’t get bent out of shape by it. Our first response should be with Peter, "It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." (1Peter 3:17)

As a parent, my first response to perceived injustices is to teach my children how to give thanks in every circumstance. In the vast majority of cases, they in fact have been disciplined fairly, so there is no basis for complaint whatsoever. In a few cases, it hasn’t been so clear, so I use that as a chance to teach the principle of suffering for righteousness' sake. I will say to them, "Let’s assume, for the sake of the argument, that you were doing absolutely nothing wrong and are totally innocent; what do you think God might be after in your life through this? Is it possible that there have been times in the past that you did wrong and were not punished? (Usually, this will elicit a nod and sheepish grin.) And did you complain about the injustice of not being punished for having done wrong? No? I see. Is it possible that the punishment you received today is simply God evening up the balances? And if not, then perhaps we need to apply the teachings of 1Pet. 2:19, 20 and trust that God is still on the throne and will come to your defence.

My second response, if I feel that it is a serious situation, will be to explore the issue with the teacher. In most cases this isn’t necessary because even mistakes by teachers have usually helped my children grow. But on the other hand, God gave kids parents to be there to help and defend them when necessary. If I take this second step, it will be without my children’s knowledge. They will do whatever punishment has been set and learn the lessons God has for them. I will, at the same time, assure myself that the teacher is aware of all the facts and attempted to act fairly given the information they had at the time. I accept that there will be mistakes, but I know that God remains in complete control, and so I, and my children, have peace.--BH

Brian Hazeltine, B.Ed., M.A.
Principal, Airdrie Koinonia Christian School